Female rivalry happens when a woman uses her power to keep another woman down, mistreats her, or competes unfairly according to a Harvard business review. While competition can sometimes be healthy, it becomes harmful when it turns into jealousy, control, or intentional mistreatment.
I have experienced this personally. When I was a freshman in high school, I met someone in my class and we became close friends. At first, everything seemed fine. But as the year went on, things began to change. She started mistreating me, trying to control what I did, and often acted jealous of me. What started as a friendship eventually turned into a situation where I felt like I was constantly being put down.
Unfortunately, this experience is not uncommon. When I talked to other girls at Burke, many of them shared similar stories. Several said that friendships turned into competitions, where one person began comparing themselves to the other or feeling threatened by their success. In many cases, the competition led to arguments, jealousy, and eventually the end of the friendship.
This raises an important question, why does this happen and how can it be avoided?
One solution is simple but powerful, support each other. Instead of focusing on who is “winning,” women can focus on shared goals and encouraging each other’s achievements. Staying true to your own goals is far more productive than trying to bring someone else down.
Too often, women feel like they must compete with each other instead of supporting one another. Whether it is academics, friendships, social media, or future careers, this mindset can create unnecessary tension. Imagine how much stronger friendships and communities could be if women encouraged each other’s goals, businesses, and dream careers rather than viewing each other as competition.
Competition also appears in different environments. For example, women in sports may experience higher levels of competition than women who are not involved in athletics. Research also shows that men tend to be more competitive overall, beginning in childhood and continuing into adulthood. Men are often more focused on competition related to status, financial success, and social standing. But just because competition exists does not mean it has to damage relationships.
At the end of the day, success should not come at the cost of someone else’s confidence or friendship. Women already face many challenges in society. Turning against each other only makes those challenges harder.
Instead of rivalry, women should choose encouragement, respect, and support. When women lift each other up rather than tear each other down, everyone becomes stronger.
